When You Can’t Take it Anymore

But I was also exhausted.

Relief came over me as I sat in that airplane seat headed to Florida.

I did it!!!

With God’s help, I had raised my boy – from birth to adulthood. I homeschooled Alex from Kindergarten through 6th grade and when his father left, the kids both began attending a local Christian School.

The years of homeschooling were not easy but they were nothing compared to the junior high and senior high years of raising the kids full time, without their father in the home. (I’ll write more about raising teenagers another day but for now…this book!)

I opened to the first page of the book, The Emotionally Healthy Woman and the titled reflected my feelings… “When You Can’t Take It Anymore“.

And my notes began…

Traditionally, the Christian community hasn’t placed much value on quitting. In fact the opposite is true; it is endurance and perseverance we most esteem.

pg. 15

Yes! That’s me – a girl who refuses to quit.

From the outside looking in, my world had not skipped a beat since my husband left. It almost looked like nothing had changed to those on the outside and yet everything – absolutely everything inside my home had drastically changed.

Endurance and perseverance are the marks of the work of God in our lives and I can testify – God has been my refuge and strength! But there are some things in life…that are not good…that we must quit.

The kind of quitting I needed to do is the kind that comes NOT from weakness but rather strength.

Because Biblical quitting goes hand in hand with choosing.

Like choosing to quit fearing what others think and instead choosing freedom.

I think I’ve always cared about what others thought of me but I had never been OVERLY caught up in that.

My mom had once told me – “Courtney – you guard your character and let God take care of your reputation.”

And so I have trusted God with my reputation, while following hard after him and his ways. But there were many days it was hard to show my face.

I recognize now, that was the enemy lying to me. He was trying to keep me in the dark but God wouldn’t let me stay there too long and I’m over that now.

It has been said that a person who has nothing left to lose becomes the most powerful person on earth.

pg.27

I’m so thankful to be free!!!

But goodness, the fear of what others thought of me gripped me for years following my divorce. I wondered what other people were saying behind my back and sometimes I didn’t have to wonder – because they said it to my face! The church is not always gentle in these sorts of situations.

But this…

The gospel frees us to understand who we are in the light of God’s love for us in Christ Jesus. We have value and significance but not for what we do or what others might say. We are “love worthy” because God loves us. God’s perfect love drives out any fears of what others think. We discover that his love, as the psalmist writes, is better than life.

pg. 36

You see…

“The depth of our twisted desire for a counterfeit validation outside of the love of God is more far-reaching than we realize.“

and so…

The decision to quit being afraid of what others think is not a one-time act but an ongoing spiritual discipline.

pg. 42

If this is something you struggle with too – I just want you to know you are not alone – and it is not an one time act but an ongoing decision.

I’ll be back next week to share more of my notes. Until then…keep walking with the King <3

Courtney 🙂